Looking at the moon over the sea, I’m reminded that the water doesn’t need to become perfectly still to reflect its light. Likewise, our circumstances don’t have to settle completely before clarity or meaningful action can begin to emerge.
Looking from the outside
We often view our lives through an external lens, as though shaping them from the outside. We look towards the next achievement, someone else’s approval, or the moment everything finally falls into place.
Happiness that once felt simple and present can become something we’re continually pursuing.
It reminds me of a smile reflected in a mirror. We see it outside ourselves, yet the movement begins within us. Trying to change the reflection only takes us so far.
We can’t always choose how we feel, but we can consciously choose how we meet ourselves and where we place our attention.
Chasing and arriving
There’s a biological dimension to this too. Dopamine plays a role in motivation and in what we’re willing to pursue. Some activities keep inviting another check, another scroll, another brief reward. Others connect us with a sense of purpose and move us towards fulfilment.
Sometimes happiness can be found in the present, through noticing our habitual patterns of chasing and choosing activities that support our wellbeing. This can move us towards a sense of contentment, with serotonin playing a role in regulating our mood.
A healthy balance of moving towards goals and staying present with the experience helps us appreciate both a sense of direction and the steps along the way. The goal gives us somewhere to head. The present gives us somewhere to stand while we do it.
What I noticed after teaching
This insight arose after teaching Qigong one evening. I felt present, and the words for this post began to take shape. There were still unfinished tasks and things to work through, yet I could move forward.
Sometimes action grows from that sense of inner alignment. At other times, a small action helps us find it. Either way, we don’t have to wait for perfect conditions.
Writing this also reminded me that less can be enough. Paying attention can help us recognise what a situation needs, and what we need within it. Sometimes that means taking a step. Sometimes it means simplifying or allowing ourselves a pause.
Turning inwards without forcing
Listening can turn into forcing when we expect an immediate result. We turn inwards, listen for a moment, then quietly expect something in return: “I’ve slowed down and paid attention. Now please settle down.”
This can turn self-care into another task with an outcome to achieve.
So how can we turn inwards without deciding in advance what we should feel or do?
Perhaps by noticing contact with the ground, the subtle movement of breath, or the sensations within a gentle movement. These details bring attention into the body and help us acknowledge how we feel. Given space, our understanding may deepen or our perspective may change. An idea, a movement or a new possibility might emerge.
A moment to listen
A few moments of Qigong can offer a chance to try this. You can do it standing, wherever you are.
- Stand with your feet about shoulder width apart. Feel your feet on the ground, and the way the floor meets you.
- Take a few comfortable breaths. Let them move at their own pace.
- Notice where your jaw, shoulders or hands might soften. Allow a little more softening if it comes easily, and leave it alone if it doesn’t.
- Begin a slow, gentle movement, such as lifting your arms a little as you breathe in and letting them lower as you breathe out. Move your attention from how it looks to how it feels from within.
- Pause for a moment at the end. Let whatever you notice be enough for now.
If thoughts arrive, that’s fine. We can acknowledge them without needing to resolve every one before taking a step.
Before we begin
The world outside doesn’t have to run smoothly before we begin to find a little clarity within it.
What might you notice today if you give yourself a moment without deciding what that moment needs to produce?
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